Because apparently I just can't get to Hell fast enough.

Baby Be-Bop had to go back to its home at the library, so while I was there, guess what I picked up?

American Gods, by Neil Gaiman

Not yet targeted by West Bend or the oxymoronically-named Christian Civil Liberties Union, but probably only because they either haven't read it or it just induced heart attack and/or stroke immediately. Or so I've heard; obviously I haven't read it yet.

You know what the problem with people like West Bend Citizens for Safe Libraries and the CCLU is?
... Wait. There's not enough blog space in the world to answer that.

You know what one of the many problems with people like that is? They think God is an asshole.

Seriously, listen to them. They believe in a god makes 3% to 10% of the population gay, then wigs the hell out that gay people exist, and sends them all hell because they have the gall to exist in the way he made them. What an asshole.

The thing is, I don't see the point of trying to score brownie points with an asshole god. I mean, let's take this Baby Be-bop thing. Up until sometime last year, the library branch I borrowed Baby Be-Bop from stamped the due date on a sticker on the back of the book. I don't know when exactly they changed, but I know it was after early Jan 2008 because that's the last date stamped here on American Gods.

When I checked out Baby Be-Bop, it still had the old sticker on it. Which told me it had been checked out once in late 1995 (probably off the New Book shelf), once in 1996, then not again until 2000, and then not again until 2004, and that was the last one. It wasn't exactly flying off the shelf, now was it?

Then these people step up and make a big furry deal about it to Protect Teh Childrenz and Do The Will Of God or some crap. So now it's in the news and there's a good chance the ALA will feature it for Banned Books Week and tons of people who never would have heard of the book have now heard of it, and a lot of them are like me and want to read it to see what the BFD is. I know several people who are specifically reading it because of this kerfluffle.

From their standpoint, this has got to be what is generally known as a Fail.

Can you imagine them in the afterlife going up to Asshole God?
Nutjobs: "But Asshole God, we were trying to keep people from reading this horrible sinful book."
AG: "That's nice, but you FAILED! Spectacularly! Three times as many people read it because of you making a big deal out of it than would have if you'd just kept your mouths shut. And I'm an Asshole, so no brownie points for intention. WHOMP! No heaven for you!"

Besides, let's be honest for a second. They're doing it for the attention. If they just wanted the book out of the library, well, there are quieter ways to do it of varying levels of legality.

I seem to remember there being something in the Bible about doing religious stuff for the purpose of getting attention. What was that? Ah, yes, I think I remember. It was DON'T FUCKING DO IT.

I've never seen the point of believing in an asshole god. No matter how hard I try, I will never be able to meet the standards of an asshole god. That's why I prefer to believe in a friendlier God. Besides, the way I figure it, if I'm wrong, I'm going to hell one way or another, and I like to think it'd be a little less hellish if I knew I was there for believing that God was actually a nice, loving deity. I much rather be there for believing God is good, than for trying to burn a book like Baby Be-Bop.