Something to think about.

From "Dance of Fear" (or "Fear and Other Uninvited Guests") by Harriet Lerner:

"In reality, every human being is dependent on the help and support of others. There's nothing shameful about recognizing how much we need each other -- a fact we can deny when we're healthy and things are going along well. What's shameful is the myth that with the right "can-do" attitude, we can bootstrap our way to health, wealth, and happiness. Or that staying strong, vigorous, and youthful is what matters most, rather than cultivating acceptance for what is. Or that fear and suffering is weak, and that our job is to "take control of our lives" and "run the show." Surrender is not the American Way. We are expected to turn even the most terrifying experiences and unfathomable losses into an opportunity for personal growth. Writer Michael Ventura calls this our "consumer attitude" toward experience and notes that other cultures would find it unnatural.

A Customer Profile

While I was out shopping, I picked up the latest issue of Beadwork magazine, and one of the "bead biz" articles caught my eye. It was describing a particular kind of art jewelry customer:

• Regular customer
• "used to buy a lot more from you, but still comes to see you on a regular basis for little purchases"
  
• Perhaps in her 50s
• Dresses well.
• Knows your name, a bit about you, often asks about your husband and children
• Comes to all the shows; maybe even brings cookies to her favorite vendors

So why was this person being described? Kind of customer to cultivate? Maybe tips on how to get back the "a lot" she used to buy?
Nope. "Every shoplifter we have ever caught in our store or at our bead show has fit this profile somewhat."

Much of that doesn't surprise me, but what blows my mind is the "knows you, a bit about you, and asks about your husband and kids" part. I can understand people who steal from people they don't know: the "they'll never miss it" attitude, the belief that this stranger can afford the loss, the idea that you're not hurting a real human. But to know someone as an individual, to know them by name and family, to know that they really can't spare it, and to take from them anyway... I just can't imagine looking at the world that way.

Then again, my step-cousin did steal my poverty-line-hovering mother blind, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Still. *shakes head*